Embracing Existentialism: 26 bullets from my 2023’s “Existence precedes Essence” journey

Radtai Lokutarapol
4 min readJan 2, 2024
  1. Existential selfie: Capturing a moment in the bathroom of Common Thonglor at the end of December reflects the culmination of my experiences throughout the year.
  2. Unexpected reunion with an old friend: Exiting my comfort zone, I coincidentally encountered a long-lost friend whose aspirations diverged significantly from mine. This reunion stirred reflections on the evolution of our individual journeys.
  3. “It’s absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.” — Lady Windermere’s Fan.
  4. Charm over Goodness: Embracing the notion that it’s absurd to categorize people as good or bad, I prefer embodying charm over adhering to conventional standards of goodness.
  5. Nostalgia and unexpected choices: Reflecting on past decisions, especially the one where I opted not to move to Singapore, brought about contemplation on the unpredictable nature of choices and their profound impact.
  6. Isolation of the Self a la Jean-Paul Sartre: Channeling Sartre’s philosophy, I embraced the idea that “I am the freedom of my choices,” leading me to make decisions rooted in self-discovery.
  7. Choosing the path less expected: Opting for unconventional routes, such as rejecting an offer to study in Singapore to pursue artistic aspirations, emphasized the importance of aligning choices with personal values.
  8. Self-reflection as a Virtue: Cultivating a habit of self-awareness allowed me to prioritize self-fulfillment over societal expectations, echoing Oscar Wilde’s wisdom on charm and tediousness.
  9. Confronting Migraines: Battling chronic migraines prompted a deep exploration of both physical and mental well-being, forcing me to question life circumstances and my own path.
  10. Seeking knowledge and expert advice: Engaging with books, podcasts, and experts during challenging times provided insights into understanding my desires, making decisions, and facing personal challenges head-on.
  11. Questioning medical decisions: A willingness to challenge authority figures, like skeptical encounters with migraine treatments, underscored the importance of making informed decisions.
  12. Chinese Chess and strategic decision-making: Drawing parallels between life decisions and the game of Chinese chess highlighted the need for strategic planning and the acknowledgment that success often requires time.
  13. Understanding 2021 and 2022: Contrasting the pursuit of stability in 2021 with confronting deep fears in 2022 facilitated a nuanced understanding of what brings true happiness and the values I genuinely care about.
  14. Exploration of educational opportunities abroad: Exploring study options from various international universities led to a clearer vision of personal goals and eventually influenced the decision to relocate in the near future.
  15. Recognition through Chinese Chess: Winning some and losing some in the game of chess and life underscored the idea that success is a gradual process that demands patience.
  16. Mitigating Migraines through personal choices: Successfully managing migraines without resorting to brain scans challenged conventional medical approaches and empowered me to take control of my health.
  17. Freedom derived from Fear: Recognizing the discomfort associated with impending change highlighted the dual nature of discomfort — fear of impending doom and the fear of transformation.
  18. Life as a woven tapestry: Acknowledging that life is a woven tapestry allowed me to appreciate and celebrate every experience, even those that may seem devoid of substance.
  19. The path less traveled as personal autonomy: The acceptance that everyone is a product of their choices emphasized the distinctiveness of each individual’s journey, shaped by personal decisions.
  20. Living is an everlasting evolution: Embracing the perpetual process of discovery and change in life underscored the fluidity of growth and development.
  21. Existentialism — A tool for exploration: Embracing existentialism became a tool for self-exploration, leading to a greater understanding of the intricacies of my own existence.
  22. Freedom in charting one’s path: The power of autonomy in decision-making enabled me to navigate through the complexities of life with a sense of purpose and individuality.
  23. Finding meaning in the Absurd: Embracing existentialism helped me find meaning in seemingly absurd situations, prompting a continual quest for understanding through learning and self-discovery.
  24. Challenges as opportunities for Growth: Viewing challenges not as obstacles to conquer but as opportunities for exploration and personal growth enhanced my resilience and adaptability.
  25. Continual pursuit of happiness: Discovering pathways to ongoing happiness, irrespective of societal expectations, showcased the richness of a life filled with layered, unpredictable narratives.
  26. “In oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look and learn, the door is there and the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself.” Krishnamurti

--

--

Radtai Lokutarapol

Eventually found himself at Royal College of Art, having stumbled upon theatre; cinema; tech; luxury, torn between business and art, from LDN; PAR; MIL; BKK